Well I'm not gonna force you to read my blog, but if you should happen to stumble upon it, take the time to sift through it as it may prove to be of some relevance to you. God forbid, you may actually enjoy it and you would wish to click the button which would mean you were eternally my follower. There isn't really any sort of meaning or specific task that this blog sets out to fulfil, think of it as bohemian.
Thursday, 2 December 2010
I mean, do I really need to go to college for my one math lesson today? Really? I have everything I need at home after all. My books, access to college system, pens, paper...
My Xbox :|
Hmm... Maybe I should go to college....
Wednesday, 3 November 2010
The stupid part is, I'm regular footed on a streetboard (left foot in front) but on a skateboard, I'm goofy footed (right foot in front).
This makes no sense at all and shouldn't really be happening haha.
I do suppose it'll help my switch stance game though on skateboard which is always a big big big bonus. To be any good at skateboarding, you need to get switch stance on lock.
If you don't understand what switch stance is, its basically where you ride opposite to what stance you normally push.
For instance, switch stance for a regular pusher would be goofy and vice versa.
As Rob Dyrdek puts it, doing a trick in switch is like throwing a curve ball with your weak hand, its way harder.
But for me, it shouldn't be a problem ;}
I wrote a new song, and I love it, I'm actually proud of it, like, for real!
It makes me feel like, playing guitar is worth it, and the sounds I can produce make it all feel worthwhile. I'm really pleased with this song, I'll record it soon and post it I promise.
Wednesday, 20 October 2010
Friday, 15 October 2010
Still trying to get over the stairsets hurdle but, I'm trying so I know I'll eventually be able to beat them.
Been getting paid lately. I enjoy handling money. It makes me feel slightly more important.
Work is still real fun, I had my first Hepatitis A&B jab yesterday. I was waiting for the nurse to stab me with the needle without realising she had already injected me. I guess I still have no feelings. Next vaccination is in a month and my final one in six months.
My psychology teacher is still a bit concerned about me, she asked one of my friends about me the other day and whether I was planning on staying or leaving. I want to leave, but I don't know how.
Well, that's stupid, I know how, but I don't know umm... I can't explain it. Maybe you already understand?
So two nights ago this group of three guys in their twenties tried to mug me and my fourteen year old friend, Paul. They failed it rawtime.
"Oi, you got a pound?"
"No I left my wallet at home." (I actually did)
"Do you know the time then?"
"Yeah its like 9.15." (I checked before we left the house)
"Check then innit."
"I just told you its 9.15 and that's it"
*starts walking off*
"Oi where you going blad?"
"Stop following us seriously."
"Don't get rude innit, stop rushing bruv I'm talking to you."
"No, just get lost."
etc etc, it ended up with them running away empty handed.
Buying this hat. Yum yum, look at those colours :)
Plus I'll be getting my BATBOX shoes eventually. Greg Custer, an amazing man who works at The Berrics Canteen, has spoken to Steve Berra (the owner of The Berrics Skatepark) about selling me some of the final pairs of BATBOX shoes which were unable to be shipped to Berrics Unified Skateshops in America due to an accident at the warehouse.
Still its pretty great of them, it'll mean I'll probably (probably!) be the only guy in London, maybe even England, maybe even the UK, maybe even Europe (maybe!) to own these shoes.
Been skating to this song lately. Its so jammy and upbeat and its just, well, its a really good mix.
Friday, 8 October 2010
Wednesday, 6 October 2010
If ya wanna Twitter me then hit me up @ArrigoVerde.
Psyched for work tomorrow, not psyched for college the following day.
Numerous things need paying for right now, but my personal wishlist is as follows;
Yeah its a lot, but my wardrobe is drying up a bit.
Watching Street League finals is super inspiring, take Nyjah Huston for example, he's 15 and he won the first Street League contest, placed 3rd in the 2nd and 3rd and became the overall champion of the season. Incredible.
Tuesday, 5 October 2010
That slam hurt haha. I keep falling on the same arm so it's getting nailed pretty bad. Ah well, it's all part of practice and learning. One thing I am happy about is;
a) I aired the manhole today (sounds lame but, for me, great success)
b) I'm pretty fast at pushing in Regular. Now all I gotta work out is how the fuck switch works :D
So today at college my psychology teacher realised I'm pretty miserable and asked me why I am and why I'm not working and what is going on in my life. I just told her the truth. I'm not working because I have no motivation to do so and I also don't have any time to work because I'm spending every night trying to have fun and feel good because I feel miserable. I feel miserable because I'm going to college without actually knowing why or actually feeling like I belong and every time I wake up in the morning to go to college I instantly start in a bad mood and feel immensely depressed. It's a horrible way to live right now and I really want to leave.
My teacher agreed that probably the best thing for me to do is to leave college because she can't stand to see me so miserable and, even though she says she wants me to stay and learn, she feels like she's killing me with her classes.
It's kinda true but it's not her fault.
I love my psychology teacher, she's so lovely and kind to me.. She always notices when something is wrong.
So I guess all I need to find out now is whether I can work at The House of Living Art full-time or not. If I can then.. I'm gonna be a college dropout.
Monday, 4 October 2010
Bailed a few times though. But I didn't let it hurt my confidence and I kept on rolling. I really need to learn how to push switch stance though or it's really gonna kill my 180/540 game.
Hurt my left bollock but I don't know how :/
I might go talk to Paul Higginson tomorrow :/ I'm seriously considering dropping out. I just can't cope with being at college.. I need to do things to make me happy and college is just sending me further and further into a dangerous depression and I seriously cannot deal with that crap. I've got a great job and I'm doing my best to be happy and do fun things to keep happy. So it really bums me out when 4 days of college can just kill all of that, y'know?
Nor can I be bothered to go into detail of what has happened since the world cup.
Lets just say blink-182 were beyond perfect and leave it at that.
As I'm typing this I just burnt my tongue on a cup of coffee, I hate doing that because it ruins the flavor of the rest of the drink.
So yesterday I was trying out the new streetboard I bought, its a Highland Cartel 56 fitted with Dimension SoftCore bindings for the immense minority of people who care. As its an extremely heavy board, its pretty difficult to push it around and also to leave the floor. Nevertheless I stuck a few Regular/Switch FS 180's which satisfied me for the night.
This morning I logged onto The Berrics and finally (yes, finally!) they put up the championship battle between Paul Rodriguez and PJ Ladd. It was pretty intense and for over half the battle I was wondering why P-Rod wasn't performing well, but then PJ made the mistake that cost him the game and Paul eventually finished him off with a crispy-ass Ollie Late Kickflip. I was pretty happy with this as I wanted PJ to lose big time, wasn't the spectacular annihilation I had hoped for but P-Rod definitely earned that trophy.
I got myself a job at a tattoo parlour. Overly happy about that because every Thursday is like, the best day of my week now. Totally blows college out of the water. Working people don't get how lucky they have it, college is for the real suckers man.
But that job will really help me build funds for the LA trip next summer that me and my homie Paul are going on. We're gonna hit LA for two weeks at the end of July to see X Games 17 and also explore the city of Los Angeles. Maybe we'll get lucky and be let into the Fantasy Factory or even The Berrics (maybe?). That'd be a dream come true.
Heck I'd even be more than happy just to shake hands with these two men;
But first thing's first I gotta make like $3000 to get there in the first place.
Monday, 12 July 2010
Sunday, 27 June 2010
Yeah its been a long, long, long, (long) time since my last post. Erm, I dunno, I haven't exactly felt the urge to write, nor have I really known what to say.
How about a little overview then?
Well, world cup fever has been running for a couple of weeks now, unfortunately last night my beloved USA team were knocked out by Ghana :( never mind! My Brazilians are gonna bring it home this year I know it :D bring on victory number six <3
Plus the world cup anthem is so awesome this year :D you must've heard its been plastered everywhere but, in case you haven't, its called Wavin' Flag by K'Naan. You can't help but smile and sway when you listen to it :)
As for college well, exams are done and dusted and I couldn't care less how they went so lets not talk about that :D
Reading is imminent, I'm crazy excited for it :) plus I've discovered so many cool bands I'd never listened to before already so, its already been a success haha.
And love is awfully confusing at the moment. I have such lovely days and then I tear my heart to pieces as soon as I leave. I need to stop that but its not helped by the situation at the moment.
It'll get better :) I just hope its soon.
I WANT MY WRIST PIERCED :D
Friday, 11 June 2010
Friday, 28 May 2010
They have swollen a bit and also there is some major bruising going on inside my lip, it'll clear up but its a bit annoying.
I'll post a picture later today :)
Two exams done so far, here are my potential marks and predicted marks as I see appropriate...
I've got four exams left, but really, I don't have the energy, nor the care for them.
Wednesday, 26 May 2010
Compared with the 10 bands at Sonisphere I want to see and the 20 bands at Download I want to see, Reading comes out on top with 25 awesome bands that I'll hopefully catch (if the clashes aren't too mean to me).
For anyone on Spotify who wants to have a listen to a selection of 5 songs from each band playing at Reading; click here for quite a brilliant playlist (if I do say so) that I fixed up yesterday :)
Definite recommendations that you might not have heard of:
Gogol Bordello (Gypsy Punk; for fans of Flogging Molly, Sonic Boom Six, Dead Kennedy's)
Frank Turner (Folk Rock; for fans of Newton Faulkner, Jose Gonzalez, Jamie T)
Thrice (Prog/Hardcore; for fans of Alexisonfire, Protest The Hero, Funeral For A Friend)
Streetlight Manifesto (Ska/Punk; for fans of Madness, Sonic Boom Six, Reel Big Fish)
Crazy Arm (Folk Punk; for fans of Flogging Molly, NOFX, Sum 41)
The King Blues (Acoustic Rock; for fans of The Maccabees, The Gaslight Anthem, You Me At Six)
But I'm sure you'd find loads of hidden gems in that playlist :)
City and Colour in nineteen days omg!
Monday, 24 May 2010
This maggot sends his love to you Paul. Rest in peace.
Sunday, 23 May 2010
Thursday, 20 May 2010
Tuesday, 18 May 2010
Sunday, 16 May 2010
Saturday, 15 May 2010
Tuesday, 11 May 2010
Monday, 10 May 2010
Sunday, 9 May 2010
Friday, 7 May 2010
Thursday, 6 May 2010
Wednesday, 5 May 2010
Monday, 3 May 2010
I'm disgusted in myself for almost making it seem like a game, like I had lost. As if it were some ultimate prize that I was fighting for. It's so much more than that though, and I did lose really.
I lost that which I never had in the first place.
If I could turn back time, maybe I would've tried to make it even clearer to you. Could've spared me a few things.
Let me explain how I feel right now.
I've got the most insane and electrified butterflies in my stomach but... All of their wings have been pulled off. So all they can do, is crawl. Crawl inside of me and make me feel sick and putrid.
Maybe that would help?
Monday, 26 April 2010
Sunday, 25 April 2010
Monday, 19 April 2010
Sunday, 18 April 2010
Its the only way I feel any gratification and satisfaction, so why waste my efforts fruitlessly toiling on the laborious things I wish I never pursued?
Yeah I thought so.
Saturday, 17 April 2010
But these words won't let me say it the right way.
And I feel like you don't care.
This isn't just another game,
I know I'm probably just another name.
And I wish I didn't care.
Damn it, I would wait forever,
Wait forever for you.
The saddest part of this story,
Is how I never knew.
What to do?
Friday, 16 April 2010
I just don't really know what I want anymore. I thought I did. I used to know what I wanted. Everything. Now its just, its like people are throwing millions of things at me and I can't decide what I want in case I don't make the grade.
I wish I hadn't gone to college, that's one thing I know for sure. I wish I went straight to Degree level. After finding out that I could've a few days ago, I felt like the biggest timewaster in the world. I just think how much happier I could have been! It would've been amazing!
I guess I'll just wait another two years though.
Sunday, 11 April 2010
They could never be beautiful because,
They came from a coarse mouth,
Deprived of your sweet kiss.
I'd tenderly wait,
I'd aimlessly wait.
I'd endlessly wait.
I'll probably drown.
These waters of yours,
Are too brutal for me.
I can't find surface in you,
You make me sink.
Even after I've hit the ocean floor,
I'll still wait forever,
Attached to the bottom.
But still floating with you.
These words would never be beautiful,
I've painted no masterpiece.
But I've got comfort in my arms because,
You're here at least.
Saturday, 10 April 2010
Of my own success and failure.
Seems like if I tried to drown,
I'd wash up on the beach.
You gotta be kidding me,
As if you hadn't noticed.
Don't give me that.
Turns out this beach,
Was really the desert.
I reach out to these countless mirages.
Still thinking they can be touched.
You think forty days and nights was tough?
Try walking that all your life.
I've lost my destination.
But I never had a beginning.
Thursday, 8 April 2010
"Ok good to hear from you :) if it made it any better i could arrange to take a course and get a certificate for first aid and blood borne pathogens. Speak to you soon :)"
"I was kind of thinkin startin with some reception work to train you about the studio consent forms etc. sterilisation before moving on to actual piercing. we would need to train you to do the stuff you haven done also. if that sounds ok."
"Yeah that sounds cool. How long would that process take roughly?"
"That kind of depends on how fast you learn. usually we teach people from scratch but you already have some experience which is good. the only issue i have is your age as i would need to find out how health and safety law would be as you are under 18."
"I usually find i'm a quick learner and it doesn't take much to give me the push but we'll see how that goes. Yeah i understand, i hope it isn't a problem haha that would suck."
"Yeah to be honest the rules can be different for minors so i need to check them out."
"I had a little look at the legislation regarding under 18s and seems to be its fine so long as a risk assessment has been made with regards to the employee. That would sound fine to me i'm not sure if that'd be a problem i mean, I've had jobs as a steward before and had risk assessments run and everything passed just fine."
"Yeah i have no experience of under 18s or risk assesment as i only normally interview 18 plus due 2 nature of the business"
"Yeah i can understand. Umm, so where would we go from here?"
"Well i just have to look into it more"
"Ok then. Well thanks for getting back to me when you're busy and I'll hopefully hear from you soon :)"
I don't know if that's good or bad =/
Wednesday, 7 April 2010
Tuesday, 6 April 2010
I'm so, like, I don't even know!
Plus, my belts are too big for me :)
Maybe things are looking up?
Saturday, 27 March 2010
Thursday, 25 March 2010
Sunday, 21 March 2010
Saturday, 20 March 2010
I want to tell myself that this next one will be different, that I won't be a sucker to this one, that I can control my own life. I don't need to live a vision, I can live a reality.
But I know, I'll fall victim to myself just like every other time.
Thursday, 18 March 2010
Does it make you feel beautiful?
This is life. This apathy is worthless.
And are we so worthless?
We're burning for revenge.
Dying from the inside.
My heart I left with my promise to return.
See it in my eyes how much it means.
To a heart that's beat has long since given out and given in.
Bury me five thousands fathoms deep.
There's blood in the water.
Burn all you love.
No heart, no hope.
Now, taste the fear.
There is nothing I would not give.
Humanity can sink.
Convulsions constrict your body into a portrait of agony.
Tuesday, 16 March 2010
Monday, 15 March 2010
Sunday, 14 March 2010
Saturday, 13 March 2010
Friday, 12 March 2010
On the other hand, I'm so torn up now... You leave me feeling like I know nothing at all. Do you do it on purpose? I can't tell. I wish I knew what to do. There are things I do want to do, but I don't know if I can or should.
Thursday, 11 March 2010
I can't tell if you're kidding or not but, please, please, stop. I feel bad enough as it is =/
Wednesday, 10 March 2010
Monday, 8 March 2010
Saturday, 6 March 2010
I feel so lost in myself. I'm struggling to search for an identity. I keep asking whether I really need one though. Do I? Would it not be easier to just live as a blank. You can't get questioned if there's never anything to ask about you.
No that's just stupid, its impossible to be nothing. Nothing is the absence of something, therefore, for there to be nothing, there must be something.
Well then, what is my identity? I can't find it, nor can I choose one, it just, exists without you really having a say in it.
So then why do I feel as if I don't have one? I'm so lost.
Friday, 5 March 2010
Monday, 1 March 2010
Sunday, 28 February 2010
Thursday, 25 February 2010
Saturday, 20 February 2010
Thursday, 18 February 2010
And even though you mean so much to me,
I can wait through everything.
Is this really happening?
I swear I'll never be happy again.
And don't you dare say we can just be friends,
I'm not some boy that you can sway.
We knew it'd happen eventually.
I've been waiting all night for this :D
I'm so sad and excited that I'm gonna post scores up here...
Oh, maximum score is 50 by the way, 5 judges who can score up to 10 points each x]
Justin Lamoureux - 33.8
Markku Koski - 36.4
Mathieu Crepet - 25.9
Scott Lago - 42.8
Gregory Bretz - 18.3 BAILED
Markus Malin - 16.7 BAILED
Iouri Podladtchikov - 42.4
Louie Vito - 39.1
Kazuhiro Kokubo - 30.5 BAILED
Ryo Aono - 32.9
Peetu Piiroinen - 40.8
Shaun White - 46.8
Holy crappppp... Shaun White had an insane run O.o lets see if he can stick it for the second one haha :D
Markus Malin - 18.6 BAILED (again, lol.)
Gregory Bretz - 13.0 BAILED (again, more lol.)
Mathieu Crepet - 8.7 BAILED
Kazuhiro Kokubo - 35.7
Ryo Aono - 29.1 BAILED
Justin Lamoureux - 35.9
Markku Koski - 25.0
Louie Vito - 39.4
Peetu Piiroinen - 45.0
Iouri Podladtchikov - 17.6 BAILED
Scott Lago - 17.5 BAILED
Shaun White - 48.4
FUCKING HELL! 1240 DOUBLE MCTWIST! SHAUN WHITE IS FUCKING UNTOUCHABLE!
Shaun White - Gold Medal (48.4)
Peetu Piiroinen - Silver Medal (45.0)
Scott Lago - Bronze Medal (42.8)
I'm fucking going to bed man I'm tired from that final LOL.
Wednesday, 17 February 2010
Monday, 15 February 2010
Saturday, 13 February 2010
Monday, 8 February 2010
Sunday, 7 February 2010
Saturday, 6 February 2010
Sunday, 31 January 2010
Thursday, 28 January 2010
Tuesday, 26 January 2010
Monday, 25 January 2010
Saturday, 23 January 2010
Monday, 18 January 2010
Saturday, 16 January 2010
Your paychecks will haunt you,
And your love life will own you,
This is it,
We'll expect the cost.
Spring does not exist, neither does Jesus,
To whom inquires first.
While you sit their praying hard to a God that doesn't exist,
As your head follows down,
It's in your mouth.
Forty years, into nights,
Child this will end your life.
Forty years, of your life.
A bad taste.
A terrible sense of smell.
For the books your children bleed for.
Were going to throw the burning bodies,
Down the wishing well.
During a raping,
You can't get back your pennies.
During a raping you can't hold yourself on trial.
All we are, are fitter men,
Cast us as violent.
All we know can't hold us back.
Beautiful children with wreckless hands,
Will doubt them.
Friday, 15 January 2010
Sunday, 10 January 2010
Saturday, 9 January 2010
I think I need to go away and think. I mean, I'm thinking already but, its the environment that needs changing.
I want to be different. A new person. A person that doesn't exist but has always been present in my head. That person mocks me every day of my life and I want to become them. Being tormented by a figment of your imagination is indescribably frustrating. You want it to end, and you should be able to stop it, but, you can't. And you never will. So you give up and let it.
I'm not happy with myself lately. But because I'm just a pair of eyes bearing witness behind a cage that locks from the other side, I can't do anything about it.
When I reach the astral plane I'm going to mutilate whatever controls such desire because they don't know what it does to people.
Wednesday, 6 January 2010
Sunday, 3 January 2010
What would you do if I held your hand and laid you down?
Would you find me overly unkind to you?
Would you call me insensitive, and say that I deserve to die?
What do I do with all these feelings tearing me up inside?
What do I do with all these wasted hours dreaming of you at night?
I'd like to call you sometime.
What would you do if you knew the truth?
What would you do if I told you the story of my life?
Would you find me overly familiar towards you?
Would you call me crude, fling me aside to the birds?
What do I do with all these feelings holding me back inside?
What do I do with all these wasted hours dreaming of you at night?
I'd like to call you sometime.
I'd like you to need me one time.
I’d like to call you sometime.
What would you do if I kissed you?
What would you do if I held your hand and laid you down?
Would you recognize it’s a need I've been fighting for so long?
Would you recognize it’s a hunger only you can fill?
What do I do with all these feelings warming me up inside?
What do I do with all these glorious hours dreaming of you at night?
I'd like to call you sometime.
I'd like you to need me one time.
I'd like to have you all the time.
I'd like to call you.