Well I'm not gonna force you to read my blog, but if you should happen to stumble upon it, take the time to sift through it as it may prove to be of some relevance to you. God forbid, you may actually enjoy it and you would wish to click the button which would mean you were eternally my follower. There isn't really any sort of meaning or specific task that this blog sets out to fulfil, think of it as bohemian.

Saturday, 31 October 2009

A blog post concerning Victoria Kathleen Cheung Wai Yi.

On this day that is the 31st of October we marks numerous occasions. All Soul's Day, Hallowe'en, El Día de los Muertos. But of course there's something just that tiny bit more special than those three dark and dismal celebrations of the cheerful subject of death.

Today marks the 17th birthday of Viki, a new friend of mine that I met through college. Although mischievous, she's a wise person who I can tell has a very caring heart. I'm awfully glad I did meet her because she's one of the people that has that ever-so-necessary ability to make you smile and laugh through your worst days. She's a beautiful person in every aspect that I know of her and so I'm sure that our friendship will extend beyond college (here's hoping at least, cock jokes are what's keeping me from going insane due to mechanic's).

So, Happy Birthday Viki, I hope you have a lovely day and also that the Geisha outfit doesn't go to waste as you'd look fantastic as one. xxx

Friday, 30 October 2009

The truth will set you free.

Just hold my hand.

I'll keep you safe.

I know you're confused.

But I will always refuse to take you for granted.

Thursday, 29 October 2009


It has recently been claimed that, if Obama is doing it, it is officially cool.

Who can blame you for thinking that, Obama is the epitome of cool. The human personification. The cats pajamas. The bees knees. And so that's why I'm jumping onto his already over-booked bandwagon and deciding that I'm going to change.

Not in a drastic way that you'll be taking a step back and in the sort of tone that is in conjunction with being aghast retort, "Henry, how could you?!". No. I'm going to change subtly. In a way that will make me feel happier. I want to change this specific part of me because for far too long it has ruled over me and hindered my capabilities. It's preventing me from being more than what I can be.

You can't blame me for that, can you?

Through this change, I will be happier, and I will be able to do more than my best for my friends. Its almost like a detox, getting this constant cycle out of my system. In some sense of the word, I am rehabilitating myself because, through this change, I will gain more.

Albeit, I will lose something as well, but you can't have your cake and eat it.

I'm going to keep doing this from now;

Today's blog post is sponsored by the emotional response towards nightmares.

I had an awful nightmare yesterday involving my life if I kept living the way I do now. Quite literally, it scared the bejesus out of me. So, in attempt to stop Mystic Meg having her wicked way over my life, I'm taking control and changing a part of my mind. My thought process. I'm changing how I'm hardwired in a specific part of my brain.

Think of it as Blizzard creating a new patch for World of Warcraft.

It will strengthen my emotions, fortify them. Make me better.

I'm doing everything I can now to do this. So don't blame me I guess if it all goes horribly wrong and I end up fruitlessly wasting away due to me cutting the wrong wires.


Wednesday, 28 October 2009

Am I the only one that sees it?

Is it that hard to actually notice...

You'd think the world wouldn't find it so hard just to take a step back, turn everything off for one moment and try to concentrate long enough to see each other for what there really is.

Everything that a human does is processing. And so therefore, you should be able to take everything in, because you're processing everything you feel, see, smell, hear and taste. There isn't anything that you can't in some way sense in this world, so why do things go unnoticed so easily?

I had a really nice day today but... Now I just... I feel so defeated.

I sometimes wish I could change, just to see what its like to live like these other people do. But how would that make the world any nicer?
I'm seeing my dear friend Jamie today for a few drinks. I do love these days that I have with him. We'll get a good chat out of it and hopefully end up going home feeling a bit lighter.

I've needed a day like today for a while really so, I'm gonna enjoy it.

Today's blog post is sponsored by the emotional response towards alienation.

I feel very alienated as of late, and it doesn't feel very nice at all. I'm also very wary now and I'm awfully paranoid about how I'm being treated...

The strange thing about paranoia is that it is a fear of something that isn't happening. Yet more often than not, the something that isn't happening, actually is.

Food for thought...

Monday, 26 October 2009

I've made up my mind.

And I'm already regretting it, even though I haven't done anything yet.

This is gonna be hard =[

Sunday, 25 October 2009

So, I decide to come home.

And I'm welcomed with, "Oh, do I know you?"


I could've stayed away for longer.

I don't know why I didn't to be honest...

Oh, premonitions.

How you haunt me.

Saturday, 24 October 2009

Floating away.

Someone please, kill me now.

I can't deal with everything at the moment and I'm just dying inside.

I need people off my back, I need things off my mind, I need weight off my shoulder.

I need to make myself happy but I'm so desperately incapable of doing that that I don't even see any hope of that being possible.

I need help.
Fuck my parents.

Fuck my house.

Fuck my schizophrenia.

Fuck my respect.

Fuck my emotions.

Fuck everything.

Friday, 23 October 2009

The walls of this house aren't soundproof. They have many secrets to share.

None of which I wish to hear.

I really don't think I can take this constant bullshit for the rest of my time living here.

I want to live somewhere else. Away from these people...

Thursday, 22 October 2009

The sound of a revolution.

When you can't get up.

When you can't breathe.

When you can't muster a smile.

When you can't dry your tears.

When you can't feel a thing.

When you can't see the sun.

When you can't hear the wind.

When you can't bear the weight on your shoulders.

When you can't find hope.

When you can't believe a word.

When you can't resist a vice.

When you can't take another step.

When you can't go on.

I'll be there.

Arms wide, heart open.

Wednesday, 21 October 2009

Fucking being poor.

Tuesday, 20 October 2009


Just another thing I'm not good enough for.

Not only that but I'll have to live without the hopes of actually being able to afford anything for a long time.

"Why bother putting anything into life when you just don't seem to get anything out of it."

I believe the expression is, FML.
We're better together, but still we're going nowhere.

Monday, 19 October 2009

Good night...

A silhouette in the backroads of this town,

A cold embrace turns to an even colder frown.

A tear runs down the face of a girl in a photograph.

But it’s all I have.

I haven't cried like this for a long time...

Ugh, end.

Lyric writing session.

I could pick a thousand words but none of them could set the sky to the perfect shade to match you.

I could sing a thousand songs but none of them could make you smile.

I could do anything you wanted but never give you what you needed.

I could never make it me and you.

I'm very bored and I just don't have the patience to do anything other than this.

Sunday, 18 October 2009

Oh my god.

I am going to scream.

Piercing costs

For future reference this is what I'm going to charge for piercings from now on;

Ear Piercings:

Lobe - £10
Horizontal Lobe - £15
Tragus - £15
Conch - £15
Helix - £15
Industrial - £15
Scaffolding - £20
Rook - £15
Daith - £15
Anti-tragus - £15
Orbital lobe - £20
Snug - £15

Nose Piercings:

Nostril - £15
Septum - £20

Facial Piercings:

Labret/lip - £15
Vertical Labret - £25
Medusa - £20
Eyebrow - £20
Anti-eyebrow - £25
Cheek - £20
Monroe - £20
Bridge - £25

Navel Piercings:

Navel - £20
True Navel - £25
Horizontal Navel - £25

Nipple Piercings:

Nipple (Ring) - £15
Nipple (Bar) - £20

Genital Piercings:


Surface Piercings:

Surface bars - £20
Skin Diver - £25
Microdermal Anchor - £30


Arrigo. Meanwhile, back in the real world. says:
go as paula

Chris Paula Who's The Kid With The Coolest Trainers On? Who's Getting Ripped Cos They Got The Label Wrong? says:

Arrigo. Meanwhile, back in the real world. says:
and she should go as you
oh wait
she already is

Chris Paula Who's The Kid With The Coolest Trainers On? Who's Getting Ripped Cos They Got The Label Wrong? says:

Arrigo. Meanwhile, back in the real world. says:

Ahhh :D

I want some new clothes.

Mainly some tartan shorts;

A nice belt;

And a new pair of Vans;

I'd also like a blink-182 shirt and a Protest The Hero shirt, but I'm not counting on that x]

Soooo much money D:

Saturday, 17 October 2009

Reasons I need money:

Ticket to The Devil Wears Prada; £12
Ticket to the Imperial Never Say Die! Club Tour; £10
Ticket to The Fall Of Troy; £10
Ticket to the Rockstar Energy Drink Taste of Chaos; £22


Friday, 16 October 2009

Meanwhile, back in the real world.

You know its been a sick gig when you're so tired from 3 hours straight of moshing and skanking that you can't be bothered to show up for your college talent show.

I had a lovely time with Jamie today drinking apple ciders and just chatting about life. He's such a genuine guy, I love him so much :)

This is the anthem I'm hooked on at the moment by the ridiculously epic Sonic Boom Six.

Don't blame me if you feel the need to skank, its quite common.

In addition, I'd like to express my total glee in being in the same corner shop as Adam from The Apostates last night talking about how I've wanted to catch them live for over a year now, then also about pot noodles (the green ones, obviously). Fucking cool guy.

On a seperate note, I've honestly not got much left in me in terms of restraint. I'm awfully worried...

Lets see how this plays out then.

Wednesday, 14 October 2009

Shakespeare, you dog.

The poem that caught my eye on the tube home yesterday.

Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?
Thou art more lovely and more temperate:
Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May,
And summer's lease hath all too short a date:
Sometime too hot the eye of heaven shines,
And often is his gold complexion dimm'd;
And every fair from fair sometime declines,
By chance or nature's changing course untrimm'd;
But thy eternal summer shall not fade
Nor lose possession of that fair thou owest;
Nor shall Death brag thou wander'st in his shade,
When in eternal lines to time thou growest:
So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this and this gives life to thee.

Tuesday, 13 October 2009

There are only so many moments I can take where I have to hold myself back.

One of these days I'll make a fool of myself, it'll be the day I disappear.

Monday, 12 October 2009

Whenever I close my eyes I can see a completely different world in which I see things as I would want them to actually be. Then I take the moment to think, I can't actually see anything with my eyes closed.

What I really need to do, is open my eyes, and make things how I would want them. That way I'd never want to close my eyes again because...

It would already there...

Too bad it isn't that easy.

Sunday, 11 October 2009

In all my efforts.

I've never found it so difficult to write a song in my entire life. Its actually quite depressing to be honest. The music is in my head but my fingers won't let the sound pass into tangible space.

I found solace today in that I reckon my semi-final audition went well today. The judges seemed to enjoy my performance and they were paying attention to it.

One word on University however. The whole thing at Sussex University makes it look like it is a festival. I genuinely mean that. I realise there is a lot of work but in reality, University is not that hard. Its almost like living a life where you don't have to do anything at all.

For once in my life I actually feel like I could achieve something wonderful but, I don't exactly know how or when.

We'll have to wait and see I suppose.

If any of you have ever spent a moment channel-hopping and have stumbled upon this quirky creature... ... I urge you to resist that temptation to ignore him and actually spend the remaining minutes watching this cartoon. It is the best cartoon you will watch on Cartoon Network in the UK at the moment.

Speaking of which, whilest I was engaged in the practise of channel-hopping, I found myself this song which I think is the best example of hard-rock that Australia has to offer.

Ladies and Gentlemen, meet Mammal...


Oh, and for those that were wondering, the purple cat/bear/rabbit thing is called Chowder and he is an apprentice chef. You can catch him on Cartoon Network everyday.

Lets hope I did enough.

This song could be worth £500 to me.

Fucking beautiful song as well <3

Saturday, 10 October 2009


She makes me feel like it's raining outside,

And when the storm's gone I'm all torn up inside.

I'm always nervous on days like this, like the prom.

I get too scared to move, cause I'm still just a stupid, worthless boy.
Sussex University. Check.

Epiphone Les Paul Prophecy GX. Check.

I want to go to that University so badly. Brighton is the perfect place for me at that age.

I want that guitar so badly. It just felt perfect in my hands. The tone was immense. I couldn't believe that a guitar could actually sound that good.

I've had a headache all day which has really been bugging me but, still, today was alright really.

Had a bit of a "heavy" feeling today though.


Friday, 9 October 2009

I hate getting to the weekend and being so worn out that you just can't even look forward to it.

And the fact that I'm not going to have a weekend seeing as how I'm going to a University Open Day in Sussex.


Really could do with a pair of welcoming arms right now.

My eyes hurt from being so tired, to the point where its actually just not worth keeping them open. And in actual fact I am typing this with my eyes closed so if I make any mistakes I'm not going to correct them.

*opens eyes*

I'll share my dream with you from last night:

I dreamt that I was in a perfect summer's blossom.

The trees were a beautiful shade of fuchsia and the petals of the flowers littered the pavement that I walked on.

Everywhere I looked people were happy. Couples walked together smiling and gazing into each other's eyes. Parents watched as their children played in the grass, staining their clothes. Elderly people sat and reminisced about the times they wish they could still live. Everything was perfect.

For them.

As I walked on, the entire world warped. The trees became petrified and the branches became white as bone. The petals on the floor rotted and coated the pavement in a thick, black sheen.

There were no couples, only solitary people who only seemed to live for hatred. The children, however, played on unaware. They rolled around in the floor, only to stand up covered in red stains. They blissfully continued as if all was well. The elderly people had vanished altogether, leaving only the memories that they had experienced in wallets and purses, forever imprinted into photographs that no one would take notice of.

Coming to the end of what seemed like a road. I found a door. It looked curiously familiar, yet also displaced as if it should never have been there in the first place. Upon opening it, I stumble onto another familiar scene. I turned around to look back on what I had just walked out of only to realise something that made me cry when I woke up.

I had walked out of my own house.

It crumbled around me after I had realised this, revealing three people. They all went their seperate ways. After this, the world returned to its normal, blissfully ignorant summers day. I went on, happy and with shoulders relieved.

Only in a dream.

Thursday, 8 October 2009

Things I love.

I love seeing people in the morning when they look all tired and rough.

I love when people are so cold that they just steal hugs from me.

I love being able to see my own breath.

I love seeing people's eyes change colour in the sunlight.

I love when someone has an itchy nose and they scrunch their face up.

I love seeing someone smile at something in their head.

I love listening to my iPod with people.

I love when people ask for my help.

I love when I see parents doting on their babies.

I love hearing people laugh but not being able to stop.

I love waking up knowing I get to see my friends in a few hours.

I love being away from home.

I love holding hands with someone and it just feels right.

I love the moment just before your lips touch where your bodies just fit like a jigsaw.

I love the smell of clean hair.

I love the days where you feel so cosy you can't be bothered for anything so you just curl up.

I love when you feel appreciated.

I love seeing girls who try to hide themselves when they really don't need to.

I love hearing music that makes me cry.

I love helping people achieve a look.

I love being able to listen to a piece of music and feeling proud enough to say, "I wrote that."

I love getting on a bus with no people on it.

I love sleeping on trains.

I love when friends try to make you feel better even though its probably not worth trying.

I love going to bed wondering how on earth tomorrow could be better than today.

I love feeling warm because of someone else.

I love going to festivals.

I love creative people and being creative.

I love reading horoscopes and getting excited over them.

I love giving clothes to people to keep them warm even though I might not get them back.

I love knowing that all of these wouldn't amount to you though.

And that's what matters most at the moment.

Wednesday, 7 October 2009

Nothing like a good piercing (or four) to release a bit of negativity.

Performed one daith, one tragus, one helix and one hip skin diver today. Was good fun although I could tell that Paula and Shell didn't have so much fun. The balls had the smallest of dimples so it was kind of hard to get them in =/. I'll nab some pictures for it and post them soon.

College was awful today. I now officially hate maths and I mainly hate mechanics. There was a reason I didn't choose physics for A levels.

I don't want to go in tomorrow. I really, really don't...

Tuesday, 6 October 2009

The only good thing to come from negative emotion is beautiful music.

A* in Music here I come...

Monday, 5 October 2009

Its so tempting to just, reach out sometimes.

But you can't.

You just can't.
I feel hurt...


We'll never find out perhaps.

Sunday, 4 October 2009

Bring the light.

Shot down I stood
Withstood my neighborhood
I got it wrong
But I could
Follow love lest I learn

It's light
To bring the light
I fought with all my might
With light
Oh bring the light

Bring the light
I never felt so good and right
But tonight
You'll never need another sound
Oh bring the light
Bring the light to me

Here and gone oh I trust
You'd spit upon my dust
And mix my ash with your blood
A son of God you know you must arrive
In the light
Bring the light
Let's bring the light
Oh bring the light

Bring the light
It's yours not mine
If you just want to survive
Go grab a glimpse of any star
In heaven's high
I never felt so real and loved and alive
No shadows follow me unsung
In the light
Bring the light to me

A flower song, clear and bright
Is it wrong in neon white
To insist you are mine
Standing dumb in the light

Bring the light
Oh bring the light
Bring the light

Bring the light
I never felt so real and right and alive
Don't let them steal you from what's yours by right
Bring the light
You know there comes a place and time
You can't deny
With every movement shadows cast and align

Bring the light
Bring the light
Bring the light
Let's bring the light
Bring the light
Bring the light
Let's bring the light
Bring the light
Bring the light
Let's bring the light
Bring the light
Bring the light
Let's bring the light



I was just in a car crash...

This day gets better and better.


You can always trust in your family to make you feel like crap...

I need to get away from here.
Yesterday I drank my first coffee.

It was surprisingly nice considering I hate coffee (:S)

Perhaps it was just because it was consumed in Central Perk Café.

Who knows. All I know now is that I want another one ¬¬

Moving on from that, yesterday was a good day :D

Traversing to Ealing Broadway to meet Paula and Nadia and then traversing to East Acton to meet Shell and then traversing to Oxford Circus to queue up to get into Central Perk Café (this took three hours).

Meeting Lounisse, Sean and Hannah in the queue about 5 minutes after we got there and then meeting Drilon about an hour after we got there.

Chris eventually found his way to us two hours later, followed by Andy.

High fives go out to the woman that baited out the two queue jumpers LOL!

Chinese was nice afterwards but I really didn't want it =[

Thank you to Paula for buying my travelcard yesterday but I feel bad for that (it costs £6.30!).

Thank you to Lounisse and Chris for buying the Shredded Chicken Noodles that I really didn't want them to buy for me because I would also feel very bad for that...

People spent £11.70 on me yesterday ¬¬

I also got to see Danielle and Chris afterwards on the way home. We watched Lord of the Rings/The X Factor/You, Me & Dupree/The Boondocks.

Speaking of Chris, one of my packages has arrived but I'm not sure which one because they left that goddamn red note saying that they couldn't deliver it =[

Early start on Monday so I can collect it from the Post Office then.

This has been a very long post I know, but I feel as if yesterday necessitated it as it was (as I predicted) a good day.

Finally I leave you with the usual "song-I'm-listening-to-at-the-moment".

Smashing Pumpkins are such a dream of a band...

Saturday, 3 October 2009

Good morning.

On this day that is the 3rd of October 2009:

I shall be traversing to Central Perk Café today with numerous friends to get a free cup of coffee (of which I don't drink anyway :P)

I can almost certainly guarantee there will be a Wispa moment :D

Also, I had a massive treatment for my knuckle and its working very well. Swelling has gone down, redness has gone down to a radius of 1mm approx. Pain has gone down and also it just feels better :)

On a final note, my heart goes out to the Philippines. Its awful what's happened there =[

This song was in my head when I woke up so, I'll share it with you so that you can hum along.

Today will be a good day :D

Friday, 2 October 2009

I feel...

Lovely :)

Thank you to everyone who helped make this day so lovely.

Talking is always such a nice way to make me feel better. (note this for future reference in the event I don't feel so great)

I am looking forward to tomorrow as well. We're going to the Central Perk Café in Central London. Exciting stuff, but more importantly I get to be with all my friends who I love dearly.


Wispa Moment #1

Being with Shell, Paula and Nadia after school was lovely :)

Thank you Wispa for making it even lovelier.



41% LOL! Pass grade was 30% :P That was a scary moment for me.

I get to keep Further Maths as a subject now ^^ so, so relieved about that :')

Katherine was being generous today and so she gave me two cigarettes <3

AND!!! Siân lost my fucking hat!


Still waiting on the needles to be dispatched as well...

Nevertheless, this song always makes me smile so I live on

Thursday, 1 October 2009

I figured out how to do it :D

Not sure if this will work...

But that is a sick cover of Fat Lip - Sum 41 haha.


My knuckle implant is bruised and this really worries me =/

An increased amoont of build-up of blood cells may lead to my body trying to force it out as if it was on obstruction and/or cause to the bruise. Which I am very worried about...

Its sort of stiff and its red around the area and it hurts a bit when I move my index and middle fingers.

Lets hope it passes.

On a happier note. My shipment of jewellery and dermal biopsy punch has been dispatched from Thailand today :D Just waiting on the bulk cannula needles to be dispatched and I'll be a happy bunny.

Also, Chris Eibich's computer screen is fucking huge O_O it puts mine to shame...

I had a nice day today really. Although I really shouldn't have (for some unknown reason). Still no "Wispa moments" to report, although I expect there will be some coming soon (:

On a final note, I think Nadia's hair looks lovely and Paula should get a cookie for that ^^ (or a Wispa?)

That is all on the day which is the 1st October 2009.

AH just reminded myself to say, fuck TfL and its ridiculously high priced fares for the tube and bus. It cost me over £8 just to get to college and back again today. On the plus side, I realised that it is possible for me to take the bus ALL the way to college so that, when my new Oyster card arrives, I can get free travel :D

On the negative side of that, it will take me approximately twice the amount of time it would otherwise take me to get to college. Which means that on some days I will need to leave the house at quarter past seven.


I'm done. Tarrah (until I get bored enough to say something once again) (L)