Could it be any more perfect?

I can't even look at my guitar.

This fucking SUCKS.

So now its time for the hard part.

And I'm gonna need you. All of you. But I can do this, I know I can :)




I really do, love my friends.

Easy away the problems and the pain.
The girl chose the guy that makes you wanna kick and scream.
All along, you wish that she would stay.
Fuck the guy who took her and ran away.

I wanted to prove myself wrong.

I wanted to try and get out of this system of seeing the vision, thinking about it, following it, then being upset and crushed by it.

I want to tell myself that this next one will be different, that I won't be a sucker to this one, that I can control my own life. I don't need to live a vision, I can live a reality.


But I know, I'll fall victim to myself just like every other time.

I've never been in it to win it.

It all goes around in the end.

Crushed.

Virtue is lost.


                                         Does it make you feel beautiful?


         This is life.                                                                    This apathy is worthless.



                                                                                                              Fuck.


    And are we so worthless?          
                                                                                We're burning for revenge.
                                                             Dying from the inside.
                        
                                                                                                      My heart I left with my promise to return.

                                  See it in my eyes how much it means.


To a heart that's beat has long since given out and given in.


                              Bury me five thousands fathoms deep.

                      There's blood in the water.
                                                                                 Burn all you love.
             No heart, no hope.
                                                                                                                         Now, taste the fear.
   


                 There is nothing I would not give.


                                               Humanity can sink.


                               Convulsions constrict your body into a portrait of agony.


                                                                                               Crushed.
              

Worst day of college so far.

But, it was a nice walk to Harrow. <3

One of the very first things I posted.

"Bliss you just can't seem to reach."


Its still true. GAH!

Another day, another chance.

And it'll be alright.

Gah.

I guess not.

"Why do we like to hurt so much?"

And it'll all become clearer.

Hopefully.

Got my custom hoodie.

Its so soft and it looks so cool.



On the other hand, I'm so torn up now... You leave me feeling like I know nothing at all. Do you do it on purpose? I can't tell. I wish I knew what to do. There are things I do want to do, but I don't know if I can or should.


Blehhhh.

Mff... I wish you wouldn't =/

You make me feel so terrible and like the most horrible person in the world and I don't really deserve that, even I know it. I know its not the most ideal situation but its not as if I'm not enjoying it either. I want to be able to just be all jolly and comply with what you want (because its what I want too) but it also proves detrimental to what I want to do in addition to that. I'm not doing this because of you, I'm doing it because of me and what I need to change about me.

I can't tell if you're kidding or not but, please, please, stop. I feel bad enough as it is =/

19 days.

Until the announcement for Reading line-up.

I'm so nervous D:

"Alright Henry?"

"No."

"Ok."

"..."

Wow thanks Dad.

Princess Leia where are you tonight?

And who's laying there by your side?


Every night I fall asleep with you, and I wake up alone.

This makes me happy.

Waiting.

For nothing.

I feel so lost in myself. I'm struggling to search for an identity. I keep asking whether I really need one though. Do I? Would it not be easier to just live as a blank. You can't get questioned if there's never anything to ask about you.

No that's just stupid, its impossible to be nothing. Nothing is the absence of something, therefore, for there to be nothing, there must be something.

Well then, what is my identity? I can't find it, nor can I choose one, it just, exists without you really having a say in it.

So then why do I feel as if I don't have one? I'm so lost.

I'm so excited.

If they don't play. I think I will actually cry.


No joke.

Omg *hearts*

Lol, I'm turning American again x] well... turning back to American.

I WANT THESE SO BADLY!!

Brb, going American Apparel.

In dire need of hugs.

I'm so faggety-emo lately. Well... More than usual really. I need to learn to stop that so I can actually try to be happier in future.

I dunno. Its hard for me. I'd like to try though.

I'm always gonna be "that guy".

The one that's really sweet.

Really nice.

Caring.

Helpful.

Wouldn't go out with him though.



Bummer...